jamman (part 2)

2006-03-13T12:15:00.000+08:00

this scene might get a bit hazy... but i'll never forget it... so0o0obra!

new blog...

2006-02-25T12:36:00.000+08:00

la lang... feel ko masappropriate ung site... hehe... visit keo ha... tapos palink na rin nito...

http://sounprettyandabitironic.blogspot.com

hehe... salamat!!!!

one minute too long... one hour too many... one day too much... one week's enough...

2005-12-17T18:50:00.000+08:00

haii... grabeng rude awakening... literally and figuratively...
i slept ng around 1 am this morning... kasi kinakahon na namin ung mga gamit namin... lilipat na kasi kami ng bahay ehhh... hmmm...
so... nilinis ko na yung kwarto ko... ayun... blanko na... puro kahon... unan... matress at kumot ko na lang yung andun...
grabe... when i woke up this morning... first thing i did was i looked around... grabe... my room was empty... sobra... then realization seeped in... shox... gaano katagal rin kami sa house nato... and we are actually going to transfer na... ang laking change nun...
then i hid under my blanket... binalak ko matulog uli... isipin mo... kakagising mo lang... ganun na maiisip mo... tssk...
pero di na ko makatulog... bigla kong naisip... naku!! sa enero... pagkabukas ng taon... lalabas na ang ACET!!...
sa pebrero... lalabas na ang UPCAT!!!... homai!!!...
ang daming bagay na magbabago... soobra...
ilang buwan na lang... i am actually going to graduate high school... matatapos na ang 2005!!! at batch owsiks kami... homai... there's no escaping what's to come... makikita ko pa kaya mg kaibigan ko after grad... san nga ba ko magcocollege?!?!
grabe... napadasal na lang ako na sana magUP diliman ako!! naku talaga!!! anlayo ng Baguio noh!!!! haiii...
shoxxxxx... ayun... sharing... haii... kayta natin toh batchmates!!!
woohoo... miss ko na kayo... hmmmm...
MALIGAYANG PASKO sa inyo... at MANIGONG BAGONG TAON!! ahehehe...
daming magbabago... pero di ibig sabihin na masama yun...
let us be excited for what the Lord has in store for us sa 2006... lanshu all!!

todong update....

2005-12-11T10:25:00.000+08:00

date: dec 3...
start ng isang linggong iyakan...
date: dec 4...
calm before the storm... birthday ni neia... pasyal... bonding... kain... enjoy pa sana...
date: dec 5...
another reason to cry... another sermon... another mistake... di namin naayos nila kai ung debate... tapos... stressed pa ko nun sobra dahil sa practice ng carol fest...
date: dec 6...
breakdown... di ko na napigilan... pati sa school... umiyak na ko... by the way... salamat sa pagcomfort mga dyosa at timo... aun tapos same day... nakapag-isip kami nila kai at airon ng points sa debate... nanalo kami... carol fest... nadisqualify... pero 3rd sana kami...
date: dec 7...
the accident... naaksidente si tojay... the accident calls for brain surgery daw... nagbreakdown mom ko sa phone... iyak nanaman ako... napatakbo na lang ako sa cr... salamat kai sa pagcomfort... maagang umuwi para magdota... umaasa pa ring makasama sa retreat... kea sumulat sa tatay... grabeng iyak...
date: dec 8...
operation ni tojay... slightly losing hope sa pagsama sa retreat... iyak dahil kay tojay at sa retreat... 12 am punta kami sa ospital... kasi natapos na ung operation... he was safe... but his condition was uncertain... 3 am... last try para magpaalam... 330 pinayagan... hanggang4 nagpack...
date: dec 9...
retreat proper... malamang obvious kea ako umiyak!! ahehehe... nung morning... la ako sa mood makatabi si airon... alala ko kasi nung field trip... medyo naiiwan-iwanan lang ako... tapos parang la akong katabi... pero anyway... dapat si abe katabi ko si abe... ehhh si abe napagtripan na itabi kay dada... kaya un... yokong magtampo si kai... ehh pag di ako lumipat ang layo niya sa mga dyosa... kaya si airon na katabi ko... 3/4 ng byahe tulog ako... ahehehe... retreat?? momentful... nagsorry ako sa isang taong nasaktan ko... ang saya!! napatawad ako... ahehehe... pinagpray ko si tojay... marami akong nakausap uli after so long... ahehehe... may sinabi sa isang tao... na todong NR lang sa sinabi ko.. as in... actually di ko siya pinagsalita... kasi feel ko... pag may sasabihin siya... I might lose my nerve... and partly... natatakot sa sasabihin niya... nasabi lang ata niya sakin... itulog ko na lang daw ng mahimbing eh... ahehehe... alam ko namang wala lang un sa kanya at wala ring mangyayare... basta todong NR xa... kinausap pa nga xa ng bestfrend ko at nagtanong ng reaction... sabi nia... ala... NR... ohhh... ohh diba!! Ahehehe... haiii... itatawa ko na lang... basta... gusto ko lang masabi... para medyo gumaan loob ko... aun... mission accomplished!! ahehehe... kwentuhan with the dyosas bago matulog... ansaya... blessing in disguise ung tower cell c na nagging tower cell b na lang... naubusan kasi kami ng regular room... kea ayun... napunta kami dun... pang5 tao yun... tapos... nagsama-sama na kami dun... si kai... car... jemai.. niki... lorie... kams at ako... ang saya!! may nagkabukol pa... ahem...2!!! ahehehe... ang kwela... at... may mga dalaw pa sa umaga... wushu!!! ahehehe...
lessons learned??~ "mabuting na yan kesa wala"... wahahaha... ~"a person who thinks… thanks"... ~ "wala sa problema ang problema. Ang problema nasa nagdadala..." ~ "what matters most is your relationship with the Creator"... AMEN!
date: dec 10...
aftershock... act normal... la namang nangyare kagabi ehh... NR lang din ako... ang saya nung nature walk namin nila lorie... ang sweet ni kai at ferdie... si raul at jemai... si car at alfredo... *ahem*... wahahaha... nga pala nadulas ako kahapon! wahahaha... virgin of the poor?? virgin of the poor phimie!!! wahahaha... aun... hmmm... tapos... todo picturan ng dyosa... ng anytime+anywurrz+anyway... = anything... pati na rin ng edj... woohoo!!! ansaya!! tapos... un... katabi ko si airon sa bus... dating pwesto daw eh... well... medyo naiba... kasi... may jude-ivy... at amor-jumags na dun... pero anyway... medyo ganun pa rin... aun... kwentuhan... bili ng pasalubong... tapos... nakatulog na rin... tagal uli ng tulog ko... tapos... dahil masakit sa leeg... palit-palit ako ng posisyon... hmmm... tapos... pagdating sa sm... dota hanggang 430... si niki, kams, nix, airon, raul, fidel, mark, kai at ako... wahahaha... ansaya... umiyak uli ako... kasi may topak uli tatay ko kanina... ahehehe... pero ok naman na kami... tapos... ngeon... eto ako... namimiss ko na mga tao... bitin ung retreat... pero ok na rin... enjoy... ahehehe... isa pa sanang retreat... sa march!!! Wahahaha!!!

---------------------------------
ayun... saya!! wahahahaha... yokok na umiyak... sakit pala sa mata kapag madalas...

not so nice...

2005-12-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

i hate the fact that i can't do anything...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything without their saying...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything to change his situation...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything to change what they're feeling...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything for things to be the way i pray they'd be...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything to bring it all back...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything to help...
i hate the fact that i can't do anything... anything at all!!

i want to do something...
i want to do something for "betterment"... it won't do you any harm...
i want to do something... to help ease the pain...
i want to do something to make them feel better...
i want to do something that i might be content...
i want to do something to restart things... that they may not be as they are now...
i want to do something to help... just that...
i want to do something... but i can't do it... i can do nothing...

i can do nothing...
i can do nothing if they don't say it...
i can do nothing to change his situation...
i can do nothing nothing to change what they're feeling...
i can do nothing to bring it all back...
i can do nothing to help...
except to pray...

i pray that they'll see my point... before it's too late...
i pray that he'll get better...
i pray that they won't be feeling the way they do now...
i pray that thing would be how i want them to be...
i pray that i could stsrt it all over again...
i pray that i could do something to help...

haiii... ang lamig...
just when things seems to clear out...
the more they get twisted...
just when you saw a ray of hope...
the clouds would block your view of sunlight...
just when everything seems to be going right...
one thing would go wrong... then nothing would be the way they were before...

haiii... kinda heavy...
that's why i want to go to this retreat...
hope my parents would understand...
but i bet they won't...

sad but it's true...
ahehehe... better laugh it off....

wooshoo

2005-12-06T19:50:00.001+08:00

sayang... sayang... sus...
ahehehehehe
ayus lang magaling naman kami eh...
pasaway lang... dapat daw 3rd kami sa carol fest ayon sa mga hurado... pero... ahem... pasaway kasi eh... nadisqualify tuloy dahil sa medley!! ahehehe... anyway... mahal ko pa rin edison-IV... the best pa rin... tahanan ng mga dyosa... ng anytime at anywurzz na pag pinagsama ay mga anything... tahanan ng edsuns... ng edj... seksyon na may pinakamaraming debaters... seksyon na may pinakamaraming himig... seksyon na may sariling banda... seksyon na halos kalahati ng populasyon ay nagigitara... in short puro mga talentado... seksyon ng mga tamad at mahilig magcram... seksyon ng mga cutters ni sir mark... seksyon ng mga tahimik na paborito ni ma'am villar... seksyon na dinrop ni Banday at pinilit angkining muli... wahahaha... seksyon na nagsecond sa sabayang bigkas... seksyon na kahit di nanalo ay nakapasok kasama ang mga higher sections sa finals ng mascot making... seksyon ng mga nagchampion sa poster-making competition nung science week... seksyon ng basketball captain... seksyon ng best musician nung carol fest... section nung madalas mag-MVP... section ng prom princess last year... section ng best debater... section ng president ng english club... section ng president ng debsoc... seksyon ng pambansang wafu... seksyon ng pinakapathetic na tao ayon kay ma'am erpelo... ahehehe... seksyon ng mga rebelde ayon sa admin... ahehehe...
tunay na halo-halo at kakaiba... yan ang edison... unique... mahal ko!!! woohoo!!
songrats satin!! ahehehehe..

aftershock...

2005-11-24T20:04:00.000+08:00

ayun... absent si kai... kakamiss... may ikwekwento pa naman ako...
hmmmm... medyo puyat ako kanina... bakit kea?
ala... hayaan mo na... sanay naman ako eh...

pero sobrang nakakaantok sa skul...
walang katuturan na araw...
promise...
ay... airon... congrats nga pala!! mikmik congrats!! at nadine!!
salamat sa pagtayo ng bandera ng edison4!!!

ayun... uhmmm...
shox... amboring ng araw na toh...
buti pa kahapon...

yesterday pumunta ako sa st. james...
skul ko nung elem... and.. ahem... and daming gwapo... ahehehe
nagenjoy tuloy ng todo si ehl... ahehehe

hmmm... kakatuwa... nakita ko ulit si...
pero well, may sarili nang buhay yun...
daming girls nun... lahat sabi ang sweet niya...
todong charmer... ala lang... kakatunaw lang xa...

hmmm... but no... hayaan na xa...
behave na lang ako...
ahehehehe...

hmmmmm... ano pa ba?
aun... sarap kausap nung nakausap ko sa phone...
mga til 1 kami nun...
tapos... nga pala nilagnat ako kagabi...

ahehehe...

aun lang

ring.... bangon na...

2005-11-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

Advice from Airon...

~x~ only think about what you like about him but not what could be
~x~ keep yourself busy and take your mind off it
~x~ admire and stop
~x*x~ that's all

----------------------------------
Masasabi ko lang:
**** thanks for sharing... for the advice... and for another wake up call...
**** asteeg noh? God gave me a lot people na tulad niya para maging friends ko... and they never rfail to help... then why else should i fret?
~~ what more could I ask for? Salamat sa inyo! Sobra!!

just another song

2005-11-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

yeah... para sa mga makakarelate sa song na ginawa ko dahil trip ko lang...
**nabuo dahil sa isang stat message ng frend ko... namely airon... ahehehe**
-------------------------------
Someday

chords: G/F# C9 Bm D Dsus D

verse 1:
sitting, staring, waiting here for you
listening to my whispers of something that is true
sitting, staring, looking at afar
praying, hoping, wishing to be where you are

chorus:
someday, somehow, somewhere
maybe just not now
i hope and i pray
someday, just someday

verse2:
but an image i once saw in a dream
but a mirage i can see yet never own
as to how and why it happened i'll never know
one thing's for sure, i have to stop this before it grows

(repeat chorus 2x)

---------------------------------

waaaaah... ang girly nung colors noh?!?!
*bleah*

stubbornness??

2005-11-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

Ahehehe… nagging seryoso tuloy paguusap namin ni kai…

kai kafrend: i can't promise you that i'll stop... im just being realistic here... its not easy to stop the stubborn attitude of people...

tama naman diba?? Mahirap... but we could not forever use this reasoning to hold us back from change...

-STUBBORNNESS-

A simple word that even grade-schoolers know...
but at the same time this is a complex part of human nature...
that stops us from moving on...
that barricades us to a fear of letting go of things that bring us joy but in the end may bring tears...
that hinders us from seeing what really is...

hope? Pag-asa? With stubbornness you tend to reason out that there still is hope...
when actually reality is saying otherwise...
you tend to cling to the littlest speck of hope that you could see...
when actually what you were seeing was but a mirage...
a folly of your imagination...
your mind playing with your senses...
making you see... what in truth is not really there...

but a mirage… an imaginary object...
ideal... perfect... like a dream... but you know in truth...
that never will it be real...
a mirage... you can never grasp...
you can never hold... you can never own...

our stubbornness pursuing this imaginary image...
praying... hoping it could be real...
but no matter how we pray... or hope...
a pebble would never become a star...
a grain of sand would never bloom...
and a leaf would never soar...
for a pebbles... will remain a pebble...
the sand will still be sand...
and a leaf won't soar... it'll fall...
for that's how things are...
and our stubbornness won't help at all...

today.....

2005-11-16T21:05:00.000+08:00

how could you hold on...
when there's nothing to hold on to?

simple diba? di ko lang maintindihan why i dont let g0?

*kasi umaasa ka pa*... grabe! sinabihan ako niyan ng isang frend ko...
and naisp ko... shox... tama siya... when actually, come to think of it...
la naman ako karapatan umasa...

so i'm ending it now...
here...
remember this day...

bilang ang mga times na umiyak ako because of him...
pero i can't deny the fact na matagal na to...

and i've been thinking lately na...
i want what we have now...
and i fear losing our friendship...
kea...
i love him as my friend na lang...

*gosh sino kea toh??*
--feel ko kung mababasa man niya toh... maiisip lang nun... haii sa wakas!!
--ahehehe...

so... umiyak ako kanina... not because of him... well, not JUST because of him...
barkada ko kasi eh...
pero i dont want to dwell on that...

pakasaya na ko dapat!!

i'm going to busy myself with alot of stuff...
to put him out of my mind...
kaya yun!! kasi gusto ko!!

ahehehe...

ayun!!

masaya ang buhay!!

tao lang sila dyosa kami!!
woohoo... i'm now looking forward to a life with less worries!! ahehehehe

Eventhough

2005-10-22T14:48:00.000+08:00

itong kanta na ito ay isinulat ko para sa isa sa mga anytime friends ko... dahil... wala lang... wala akong magawa!! labshu!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Eventhough

You said you've waited for this for so long, I believed you
You said you and I would go strong, and I took it as truth
I took the risk, I took the chance, but you didn't come through
You said you'd kiss the pain away, but you ended up hurting me too

Chorus:
By and by and by and by
You're letting me go
By and by and by and by
I just want you to know

I felt the love you said was real, but it didn't seem right
You gave up on me, you said it with tears and you said good night
You said you'd fix yourself ofr me too, what's taking you so long
And the longer I wait the more I feel that we don't belong
-Chorus-

You're making this decision easier for me, you're pushing me free
Cause you're doing nothing to stop me, baby can't you see
If you only knew that he's pulling me out, maybe you'd start to stand
You'd hold on tightly to my hands and it'll be us once again
-Chorus2x-

I just want you to know, that I still love you so

------------------------------------------------

eventhough title... kasi alam nio un... minsan parang kahit may love... kulang pa rin... enenthough you love the person... there are still other things to put into consideration... kea kahit walang eventhough sa lyrics... yan yung title... ahehehehe

2005-10-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

May nabasa lang ako tapos naisip ko... he sooooo deserves her... what if ako yung nandun?!?! Ow my gosh... I can't imagine myself being there... buti na lang xa ung andun... and I don’t mean it in a bad way... nyway... bout my day?!?!

DOTA!... ahehehe... naku... to think na I tried to stop people from playing?!?! Ngeon I'm the one being gravitated by it! Grabe talaga! Ahehehe... nice kasi mga anytime people eh!! Ahehehe...

Yun... tapos... lam nio ba? Aun... yesterday... punta siya sa bahay ko... bakit? Dahil ala lang... tripping... so... ano... ano na?? ano ba talaga chant!?! Inakay... di ko na alam... la akong mafeel na kakaiba... is it because I'm just too used to being with him? Or is it because I'm trying too hard to find what I felt for the guys that passed me by? Or baka ala talaga?

One thing lang talaga ang sigurado ko... I feel so distant with my used to be closest guy friend... and currently he is like taking his place... and I'm afraid na kung frend nga lang siya sakin... mawala siya completely... nyarks!! Nakasunod ka pa ba?! Nyway... ahehehe...

So ano? Pano na? natatakot ako that I might regret this... but I can't keep him waiting for something so uncertain... shockers... sorry!!!

damn... unpretty!

2005-10-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

"i always thought i was beautiful...
but what does that mean to you...
look into the mirror who's inside it?
the one with the long hair...
*blah... blah... skip natin punt tayo sa last line ng chorus.... *
damn... unpretty"
---Unpretty, TLC

i bet you get the jist right? ahehehe... i bet everyone can agree that there was a time that you really felt you were unpretty... actually possible ngang araw-araw mo yang maramdaman eh... there are times talaga that i feel so unpretty... and basta... kanina kasi talaga... pagharap ko sa salamin isip ko... "damn unpretty" nga!!

i feel unpretty when i feel:
-unwanted
-alone
-rejected
-unsure
-insecure
-inferior
-mean
-unfair
-guilty

tapos... i realized... i care too much... i care too much about what others might say... about what others might think... that i neglect the feelings of those i most likely might hurt...

ang unfair ko noh? sabi ni kuya -leo-... so ano pang kulang sa kanya?? isip ko... wala... he's done so much for me... sobra pa nga ehh... and i feel di ko matatapatan yun... ang hirap nun... i don't always want to be unfair... but i can't help it... i fear na hanggang dito lang talaga yung kaya ko... hanggang dito lang nga siguro yung akin...

conversation with my servicemate:
me: tapos... ayaw ko na maxado niya nauubos oras niya sakin... naasar ako sa kanya kapag sakin nauubos oras niya...
servicem8: dahil ba sa alam mong nagsasayang lang xa ng oras?

talking to myself:
**wait... is that what i'm thinking subconsciously?? di nga??

ewan...!! pero mahal ko siya as a friend... sure ako dun... bakit alam kong dun pa lang sa level na un... kasi... selosa ako sobra!! pero... ang weird... pagnagkwekwento siya tungkol sa ibang girls... ang naiisip ko... "masaya keo? bat di na lang keo?" and get this... di sarcastic ung tono nun... pero pag dun sa close frend ko na guy... sarcastic tono ko dati... am i just too kampante na talagang mahal niya ko? ano ba?!?!... tsaka pag kausap ko xa.. para lang akong nagkwekwento sa best frend ko... ganun...

shox... what if pagsisihan ko toh... yoko siya mawala eh... pero i have no right na ipagdamot siya... lalo na na alam kong masasaktan ko lang siya...

wait lang... ano nga bang alam ko??? ehh... wala! ang labo-labo ko!!

grabe... this is so ironic... she makes me feel pretty... wanted... loved... pero he makes me feel unpretty rin... ay mali... it's my fault pala that i feel unpretty... cause i feel like i've been so unfair... ayon nga sa best frend ko "you're so mean!"...

**kung nababsa mo toh ngeon... ikaw na tinutukoy ko... diba sinabi ko na na wag kang pumunta sa blog ko? madedepress ka lang... tapos wala pang saysay ang lahat ng toh... kasi... ang gulo pa ng isip ko.... sori...**

gandang umaga....

2005-10-15T07:45:00.000+08:00

ang aga-aga kong nagising... sabado pa naman!! yarx...
ayun... gagawa p kasi kami ng a.p. eh...
6 pa lang may nagtetext na... ano ba yan... yawn... cge... paalam muna...

ala lang... poem uli

2005-10-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

silent screams
whispering in my ears
pleading for safety
freedom from captivity
on the verge of sanity
losing myself in you
for you... because of you
reality holding me down
fantasy letting me be
darkness closing in
but i know i shouldn't sleep
groping, reaching
trying to find
the stranger i once dreamt of
though only in my mind
losing grip
laughing in tears
screaming in silence
hoping my mind clears
everything now blurry
your voice vague in my ears

anytime...

2005-10-13T18:49:00.000+08:00

waaaaaaaaah... cge simulan natin ang kwento ko... no nga ba nangyari ngeon?? ahehehe...

aun... start... kaninang umaga... ako, si maricar, si jeremy, si kai, si j9, si timo, si janica at si val... aynapasya na ikutin ang soccer field... bakit?? kasi... ayun... wala lang... ahehehe....

tapos ayan na... 7 na... so san na kami? well... chem time na kasi nun... so meaning... pumunta kami sa canteen... ahehehe... so... ano yun.. si timo kasi pumunta na sa principal's office dahil sa sibol stuff... so... si ako... si car, si jemai, si kai, si j9, si janica at si val... kasama pa ang mga ubod ng pasaway na late na sina pipay, nuelle, lorie, nikki at kamille... ahehehehe... so nakatambay kami dun sa aming table... at nabuo ang "anytime"... ang ingay namin!! i swear... tapos... aun... kulitan etsetera... tapos... aun...

so 8 na... ehhh... ala daw english... so.... ayos!!! ahehehe... dun pa rin kami sa canteen...
tapos... mga... 8 40... pumunta na kami sa covered court kasi... pinapaayos daw ni mam Binas... so sa covered court andun edison... at nakahingi pa ako, si janica, si kai at si j9... ng gonuts kay sir almendarez... aun... tapos... pinuntahan ko si Airon... na well, mukhang hangwierd ng topak dahil nakatulala siya at tahimik sa may stage...

tapos... bumalik na kami sa room... 9 na nun... kasi a.p. na... so sinermonan lang ni ma'am si ------... nyway... nilinaw lang ni ma'am ang mga bagay-bagay... tapos... hanggang 10 20 kami sa rum... kasi... nagpinoy din kami...

etoh pa... naku... xempre ayaw namin mag Ma'am Banday... so... shox... hirap nito... 1020... etoh na... THE GREAT ESCAPE... ampness!!! mukha kaming ewan -ako, kai, lorie, nikki at j9-... naku!! edi ang aga dumating ni mam banday... sakto sa paglabas ni mam villar... ohmay talaga!!! edi labas kami... kapalpakan ng naman... dun kami sa may fleming3 tumakbo... ehh... naku... sa kabila ung hagdan... ginapang namin un!! and with the special participation of cess, grapes, laurice at iba pang flem3... nakatakas kami!! ahehehe

tapos... edi un... since ala na kmi sa room... hanap kami ng malulugaran... ako, si nikki, si lorie, si kai, si j9 at janica... so san kea kami??... mga 1020 hanggang 12 dinalaw na lang namin si ginoong almendarez sa kanyang lungga... aba! bakit hindi... ehhh aircon dun... ahehehe.... ayun nagkulitan at kwentuhan kami dun...

tapos... mga 12... mineet na ni paglicawan ang theatre sa may atom... at nun nga'y naaya kami nila lorie na sumama...

ala una... hinihintay na namin si kai sa may atom .... at mga 1:06... umalis na kami... mga 2... nasa PETA na kami... 232... nakaupo na kami sa loob ng theatro... hanggang 5 ung dula... so natapos na xa.... at mula 5 hanggang 530... o higit pa... ay nilakad namin ang kahabaan ng E. Rodriguez... upang maghanap ng jeep...

lam nio ba?? 5 pa lang sabi na namin ng "anytime" na mag taxi na... but no... si paglicawang makulit ay sobrang indecisive... aba... 530... naisip niang hopeless na... at dapat lang na magtxi na... aba!! ehhh.... 20++ kea kaming puro babae na andun!! inakay!! ano ba yan!!...

aun... anyway... nasa bahay na ko... nagpapalamig ng ulo... haiii... no naman kea mangyayari bukas??? ahehehehe

falling...

2005-10-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

falling in love...

falling?? why not coming to or getting to or even becoming... i know what you're thinking...
"it just doesn't sound right... "... can't blame you really... kasi it doesn't sound right talaga...
they used the verb falling to describe love for a reason... and a good reason it is at that...

imagine yourself standing on the ledge of a ten foot, wait no make it twenty, no i take it back i guess try to make it 50... or more... depends on your mood... and on your suicidal capabilities... ahehehehe...

how would you decide to jump? you definitely won't stand on the ledge... and take a look at the pavement 50+ floors below... you won't sit on the ledge and slowly slide yourself... easing your way out of the ledge as you do in poolsides... so how?

*you stand straight...
*close your eyes... or also another option is to look up at the beautiful night sky... again your choice...
*spread your arms...
*well... say your parting words.. -if you have any-
*take a deep breath... a huge gulp... of saliva... -gross, yeah i know... but it happens...-
*then... well... just... take a step, a leap... a jump... you do have lots of options... ahehehe... you could even go out in style if you want... trully your choice...

~~uhmmm... no... this is no crash course on the best way to kill yourself... just am trying to prove a point here... now...

back to the topic... stand straight... make a decision... come on... nakakita ka na ba ng nagpapakamatay na sobrang desidido?? as in sobra?? kung may ganun edi sana... pag-akyat dun... la nang kaartehan... talon na kung talon... lalandi pa eh! ahehehe...

same with love... i don't blame you for having hesitations nor second thoughts... normal yan... a lot of obstacles and hindrances may come your way... pero... if it is what you feel... fight for it... whether with your eyes closed or with it open... same way... you'll fall how you're supposed to... ahehehe... spread your hand... welcome it... feel it invigorate every inch of you... and while you fell that you are atleast 40% sane... say your parting words coz... it could really be the last people could talk to you before you commit yourself... take a deep breath... then... go...

now the hard part... yeah well... everything is hard in this kind of thing so... anyway...

when you fall... what happens next? i mean... you take risk... you welcome uncertainty... then what?

this is the part you can't control... will he/she catch you? imagine yourself... falling... falling... then... -splat-... guess what... he/she doesn't care... or that person would be the one to call 911... meaning he'd try to help and try to make it up to you in a way that he/she feels he/she could... but fact still remains that he/she had no intention of catching you in the first place...
but if that person does catch you... it's like that person gave you anothet chance to live... and you know things will be better...

leap of faith... plunge into uncertainty... falling in love...
pare... in a way they are synonymous to each other... now... go figure kung bakit ako kinakabahan.... haiii... ahehehehe

inafairness... d na nga ganung uncertain ung akin eh... i mean... sigurado xa eh... ehh... bat parang may hinahanap pa ko?? shox... labo ko...

haiii... sayang talaga

2005-09-10T19:48:00.000+08:00

sana nakapasok banda namin nila kai... pero... well... malupit ang kapalaran... ahehehehe...
aun...
nakapasok naman ung banda ng edison... so ibig sabihin tutugtog pa rin ako sa battle.......
kea lang sayang pa rin diba?? ahehehe... haiii... sa dami ng jam namin... ahhehehe... well... magagaling talaga sila eh... ahehehehe... ganun talaga ang life... hmmmmmmm...
may problema pa ko... kung pede ko lang talagang ipublish sa buong mundo... kea lang... baka makasakit ako... kea... haiii... wag na lang...

2005-09-06T18:27:00.000+08:00

my day? aun... aus lang... saya naman... pero wait lang... bagsak ako sa chem at physics... grade na yun sa card!!!!!! waaaaaaah! math din ata eh... ano ba yan bat ba kasi 85 ang passing???!! lahat ng subjects na may kinalaman kahit onti sa numero ibabagsak ko ata... well except econ... (dapat lang!)...

ano ba toh?? dedz ako sa magulang ko!... alam nio ba? nung elem... ang pagbagsak ay wala sa bokayularyo ko... mapa homework... seatwork, quiz o test... lagi pa kong top! ano ba yan?!?! tapos ngeon?? haii...

sana lang mabawi ko lahat toh sa second quarter... sana lang... haiii... asa pa!

2005-09-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

*walang konexon to sakin... pero... ala lang... ahehehe...

dreams, they say speak of your deepest desires...
things you still try to ponder even while you sleep...
things that disturb you, things you choose not to see...
things you want to forget, things you want to let be...

a beautiful facade, a smile of contentment...
a laughter of joy, still is there resentment?
i choose not to see, i choose to forget...
i choose not to believe, though soon this i'll regret...

so why did i see you there?
why was that the scene?
why that place? why that time?
why her?

things i try to ponder even in my sleep...
things i try to forget as morning creeps...
things i'll leave behind as i spend the day with him...
things i'll remember once more when i again lay my head and dream...

*wahaha... asteeg ba??... ilalagay ko na rin toh sa mga tula ko...

2005-09-04T21:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday we had a prayer walk in church... promise ang asteeg... sobrang nafeel talaga namin presence ni God... words are not enough to describe the feeling... (if you know Him you'll probably know what I mean)... nyway... dahil sobrang gabi na nun... mga 9 ata... natataranta an magulang ko kung bakit di pa ko umuuwi... tumawag pa nga sila sa phone ko galit na galit... pero when i got home (praise God!)... nagcool down na temper nila... whew!

nyway... today... aun sunday... so we went to church... aun... ala lang... ang boring ng araw ko ehh... tapos... di ko pa tapos tong chem... tssk...

sige... post uli ako mea-mea... pagnatapos na ko...

hmmmm...

2005-08-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

aun... now a days... medyo masaya naman ako... ahehehe... ewan ko... basta parang ganun eh... hmmmm... haiii... kakanta nga pala kami bukas sa sis... to tell you the truth... kakatamad... ayaw ko!!! waaaaah! but no... obligado akO!... hmmm... may one to one pa pala ako bukas... di na ko pwedeng magcancel... kakahiya na... imimeet ko pa pala english club officers at ung english club members... ay... at dalawa na nga pala banda ko!!! maygali!!... hangbusy ko pala!!... wait lang... school work ko pa!! ehhh... bat ako masaya??

alam nio ba?? ansarap magjam... ala lang... ahehehe... kakatuwa lang... =) basta... ansarap tumugtog... ayun kea masaya... sabi pa nga ng isang tao... di daw ata nia ko nakikitang nababadtrip... lam nio... iniisip ko ngeon... bakit kea?? hmmm... and alam nio ba?? isip ko... ang nakakatakot na sagot... eh... mukhang pagkaharap ko lang xa tsaka ako di nababadtrip... kasi... nakakaya niya kong pangitiin kapag mainit na ulo ko... naku... delikado toh!!!... baka mamaya... tssk... tssk... somkinda "spur of the moment" lang toh... sakit ng ulo lang madudulot ko sa mga tao... (hoy... ikaw... kung binabasa mo toh... kwayet ka na lang... wag mo na lang sabihin sakin na nabasa mo xa... wag mo nang sabihin kahit kanino na nabasa mo xa... k??? ahehehehe... )

haiii... naku... lam nio ba?? ilang gabi na akong puyat!!! lam nio kung bakit?!?!?! ahehehe... basta... un na un... telebabad kasi ako eh... wahahahaha... kea sige... tulog na ko... patawad medyo bangag ako... (medyo?!?!?!)... sige nyt po...

aun lang...

2005-08-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

so... how did my day go?

shox... absent si kai... so natural si airon ang kasama ko... haiii... masaya naman ung araw ko... alang chem!! woohooo... and xempre... ang topic ng edison... ay ang pagiging second namin sa sabayang bigkas... khit na... mukhang di sang-ayon si mam villar... ehh ano naman?? di naman xa judge! ahehehe... galit pa rin si mam erpelo... and may long test kami bukas sa physics... un...

ay at nga pala... nung uwian... since wala si kai... si airon kasama ko buong araw... ehhh... si airon naman... umuwi agad... kea aun... kasama ko kanina... si rhenz... aun... tamabay na lang kami sa may bleachers... at ang bleachers lang ang may alam ng pinagusapan namin dun... hmmm... di ko rin gaanong nasundan topic namin eh... ahehehe... nyway... nong naiisip ko about it?? hmmm... oonti-ontiin ko na lang... sa ngeon magulo pa eh... ang labo ko kasi...

promise... ang gulo ko... haiii... di na ko sing drama ng dati... ewan ko ba... tsaka ko na lang ikwekwento...

haiii... sana nakapagjam kami kanina... pero, well... hindi eh... ano pa nga ba... gusto ko kasi sana isama na lang sa kung ano mang tugtugin ung gulo sa utak ko... kea lang... di ganun eh... ahehehe... tawa na lang ako...

---nga pala... ung pictures... ala lang... trip ko lang ilagay... experiment... ahehehe...

2005-08-25T19:34:00.000+08:00

pakyut lang

2005-08-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

di nga?? tapos??

2005-08-25T19:28:00.001+08:00

smile lang...

2005-08-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

pasenti?? as if kaya ko!

2005-08-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

uhuh... etoh nga....

nanalo kami!!! shocks... lahat ng pagod ko nagpay-off!! second kami!! akalain nio... (uhmmm... kung lalaitin nio kami at sasabihing we don't deserve it... save it!! i dont care... basta we won!!) ahehehehe... we had fun plus we won... (galit nga lang samin si ma'am erpelo... ahehehe)

haiii... new chapter na toh!! ahehehe... bakit?? bakit kamo?? kasi... senior na ko... ahehehe... bagong drama... bagong kwento... lecharks... drama ko dati tungkol sa isang superhero... ahehehe... tapos na yuN!... ngeon kea tungkol san adventures ko?? hmmmmmm... malalaman nio... sa susunod na kabanata... haiii... ahehehe... buhay...

2005-08-23T20:25:00.000+08:00

JAMMAN

new chapter of my life...
new blog!!